My new boyfriend: Backy

                    

When you lose someone you've been with for a long you tend to have a time of reflection: a time to grow, meet new people, and experience new things.

My dentist, a jolly bald man, didn't use Novocaine when he pulled out Toothy. He massaged my gums, pulled him out as he screamed to his assistant, "She's not a bleeder." This is one of the highest compliments I have received. I am not a bleeder. I am a fighter. A survivor. And then, he put old Toothy in a bag and let me hold him. It was just that simple.

 Feeling Toothy in my grasp made my heart swell with anticipation. What was my life going to be without Toothy? Losing Toothy meant that I was going to get braces. He'd been with me so long that I felt like I was losing a special part of me. Toothy added a bit of hilarity to a party. He was a sight to behold. People were always inquisitive about my deformed mouth. It was a conversation starter. He made me special. Am I on my way to be like everybody else now? Did I just buy my ticket to Dullsville.

  Maybe comfort is worth the risk of being boring. I mean, Toothy doesn't own me. I'll get another gag to share with people. It's not necessary to always entertain people by having them take notice of your deformities. Right? And now I have a new friend who's been behind Toothy all along. His name is Backy, and he's never really gotten the chance to show what he can do. Maybe Backy is the funny one and not Toothy. He's good for my mouth, unlike Toothy. 

Plus, Toothy is the reason I have to get braces. When I was fifteen he told Backy that he wasn't going anywhere; he was staying in my mouth. Now that I think about it, Toothy was such an abusive boyfriend. I overlooked all the great qualities Backy has to offer. I hope that Backy will forgive me and finally go to the front of my mouth where he belongs. I hope he doesn't take too long to forgive me. I hope he doesn't think nice guys finish last, because I'm done with Toothy for good. There's a new tooth in town and its you Backy. It's you.

 (This gif is my last lament to Toothy: Toothy gif)

Everyone! Welcome Backy! Encourage him to finally come home to the front of my mouth:

TODAY IS A NEW DAY! 

I AM A NEW WOMAN! 

IT'S GONNA BE GREAT! 

OH CRAP!

I'M GONNA GET BRACES!

STAY TUNED!

Oh, goodbye Old Toothy.

Its been a year and three controversial deleted blog posts since I've written something that can actually be seen. But, this has been brewing inside me since conception.

Today I am finally extracting my baby tooth. It has been with me for thirty two years and although I have had many opportunities to let go of Old Toothy I have not wanted to part with it. I think it might be because I'm a mouth hoarder. Who knows?

But, not wanting to break up with my long term boyfriend Toothy has been a conflict plagued with laziness and financial strife (even though I totally could have gotten taken care of three separate times for a lot less money.) It's safe to say that I never really thought that Old Toothy would have an effect on my entire smile. But, as I've been informed by my orthodontist, he has made half of the side of my smile age. He said if I didn't part with Old Toothy my teeth will continue to age rapidly and fall out. To the layman eye my teeth look perfect, but what lies beneath?

Do you see Toothy? He's at the top to your left.

My orthodontist is from Beverly Hills. His office feels like he's a plastic surgeon. He informed me that not only was my baby tooth a problem, but that I have a "gummy smile". I was a tad bit offended, because even though Old Toothy is a serial killer in my mouth, I like my "gummy smile" more than I like my orthodontist.

And, I love old toothy. He has been with me through thick and thin in sickness and in health. He has been with me through deaths, divorces, marriage, and meals from around the world. It wasn't until this happened that I knew I needed to help Toothy become more independent.  Sometimes you've just got to cut the cord.

                                   

Today is the day. I am getting my baby taken out of me and giving birth to braces on Monday. 

In the past, I have taken several horrifying pictures of my mouth, but didn't want show them until I knew that I was going to fix my monstrous infrastructure. The only people who got a look see are the little children that I have taught over the years; they thought that my tooth behind Toothy was gum.  I explained to them that I was part shark. When adults snuck a peek at the tooth behind my tooth they were immediately horrified when I cocked my head slightly to give them a better view. 

Prepare yourselves:

                           

                            

So, I'm sorry Toothy we are going to have to break up. It's not me; it's you.

XXXO

P.S. So, I am going to be Toothless Sally for the next five days. It will provide a ton of entertainment for others and another blog.